It’s pretty normal to have a fear of failure but fear of success?  That’s just plain weird.  Yet in my writer-brain, somehow it’s far more terrifying to succeed at something than it is to fail.  Why?  Because success means higher stakes, and if failure does happen later on it hurts all the more.

It’s like the Earth in the picture, just floating through space, la-dee-da, until some huge meteor smacks into it.  If the Earth were just a barren rock, then the stakes would be low because the Earth wouldn’t have much to lose.  But the Earth has spent millions of years growing life from one-celled organisms to sentient beings.  It’s because of the Earth’s success at making living things that a meteor hit would be so unbelievably catastrophic.

It’s sort of the same with writing.  The more you write, the higher the stakes get because you’ve invested time and effort into the project.  If you don’t finish the book you won’t get rejected by agents and editors because you’ll never get to that point, so it’s actually a comfortable place to be.  But if you spend all that time writing and editing the book and then you get rejected, it hurts.  Big time.

This is where mindful writing comes in.  In mindfulness, you need to be aware of the things you can control and the things you cannot.  You can’t control whether people will love or hate your book, but you can control whether you actually finish writing it.  Success and failure are out of your control.  What you can control is whether you write the book.  After that, all you can do is accept the successes and failures when they come.

What scares you more: success or failure?  What can you do today that will take you one step closer to finishing a project?

Writing is a solitary sport, one that often leaves us beating our heads against the wall in frustration.  This is why having a network of writer comrades can be so important.  This idea of an artistic community is not new.  Think back to the Abbey Theater in Dublin, the salons of Paris and the Algonquin Round Table in New York.  For as long as there have been artists and writers, they have found ways to come together and connect with each other.

Some of you may wonder why writers should waste precious writing time just chatting with other writers.  I say, it’s because writing is so isolating that it’s especially important for writers to connect with one another.  No, another writer can’t write your book for you, but you can gain valuable advice and much-needed support on your writing journey if you take the time to connect with writer friends.

Why Writers Need Writer Friends 

1)  They will give you perspective.  When you write alone all day, it”s easy to lose perspective about the writing and publishing process.  Suddenly it can feel like everyone in the world has finished their novel or has gotten published except you.  Talking to other writers who are in the same boat as you can give you much-needed perspective. 

2)  They will give you encouragement.  By that same token, connecting with writers who have found success can also be very encouraging.  It can show you that good things can and do happen.  Seeing writer friends get agents and book deals can reaffirm that when it’s your turn good things can happen for you too. 

3)  They will give you motivation.  Good writer friends will motivate you by encouraging you to send out work or finish your novel.  But motivation doesn’t always have to come in the form of encouragement.  Even if all you do is sit together in a coffee shop and write side-by-side, having company can push you to be more efficient and more focused. 

4)  They will give you a shoulder to cry on.  When rejection rears it’s ugly head, you’ll be happy to have writer friends nearby to lend you support.  Rejection always stings–even if just a little–and it’s nice to have writer friends to help you bounce back and carry on.

5)  They will be there to party with you when things go well.  True creative friends aren’t just there to prop you up when you’re down.  They’re there for you when you succeed as well.  Julia Cameron of The Artist’s Way calls these “before, during and after friends” because they’re on your side before, during and after you find success.

What do you think?  Why are writer friends important?

 I’m super excited for BookExpo America, which is in less than two short weeks!  I’m also really looking forward to meeting other bloggers at Book Blogger Con on the Friday.

As I get ready or the trade show and the conference, I’ve been reading up on BEA so that I can make the most of this awesome week.  Although I have been to BEA before, the last time I went was for only one day and I feel like I hardly got to see any of it.

This time around, I plan to get as much as I can out of the show. Here are some posts I’ve found that give great advice for BEA: 

•  Natasha from Maw Books Blog gives great advice in her Do’s and Dont’s list and shares tons of pictures from BEA.  (Note to self: Bring camera) 

•  Girl From the Ghetto has great tips for organizing your time at BEA, like figuring out author signings and making the most of your time.  She also mentions bringing your own water (Note to self: Bring water bottle and refill throughout the day)

•  Emma Michaels of The Thirteenth Chime not only gives great advice, she also has a linky feature so you can meet other folks who are going to BEA and browse their blogs.

• Nicole at Linus’ Blanket has awesome tips about New York and BEA.  I especially like what she has to say about being comfortable and planning ahead.

• Jacqueline’s post at SmallPressWorld gives fantastic advice.  Her notes about business cards and what to pack for the day are must-reads!

If you’re going to BEA or Book Blogger Con, link to your blog in the comments.  I’d love to check it out.  Also, I got some great BEA fitness tips from Missy and will share them next week, so stay tuned!