Today’s keynote speaker is Benjamin Andrew Moore, a fellow classmate of mine from the New School and the non-fiction and comics editor at Verbal Pyrotechnics.  Ben’s writing caught my eye and captured my sense of humor with its satirical wit.  This guy is FUNNY!  But what’s great about Ben’s work is that it’s also honest and real, and while he might have an ironic way of wording things, when you cut through to what he’s really saying, you realize he’s talking about something more serious than just good-humored fun.

Ben has a “satirical blog” Come Look At My Chest Hair and is a writer for Screenrant.com.  As Ben says: “If you need to warn people about the content of the Chest Hair blog, be my guest.”  It involves chest hair; you have been warned.  🙂  Without further ado, here’s Ben’s take on DIY MFA.

Ninety percent of everything is terrible, give or take.

Ninety percent of movies are terrible, ninety percent of television shows, ninety percent of plays, of videogames, of board games, of human beings, of restaurants, of clothing lines, of orange and grape-flavored beverages, and of books. Fiction, ninety percent of the time, is laughable, bland, stupid, trite, purposeless, and—say it with me—terrible, terrible, terrible. I wish it weren’t true, dear readers, but so it goes!

The problem is, nobody takes risks and nobody’s original. Formula is king and clichés are its freaking court jesters. Humor is hard to come by, drama is over-serious—not to mention pretentious—mysteries are ham-fisted, vampire love books aren’t even romantic, and while Holden Caulfield was unrepentantly awesome, his millions upon millions of knock-offs were most definitely not. The Chocolate War? I mean, are you kidding me, Robert Cormier?

But it doesn’t have to be this way. It really doesn’t. That ten percent of quality is proof.

As writers, all you have to do is not rip off the books and stories and ideas that came before yours. It’s okay to be influenced by the things that you love, but it’s not okay to just re-do them with your prose in place of—say—F. Scott Fitzgerald’s. The Great Gatsby was great, sure, hence the title. But that doesn’t mean you should rewrite it. That doesn’t mean you should rip it off.

Be bold. Take risks. It’s lame, and it’s clichéd, and it probably even sounds stupid, but go big or go on home. Please, I beg of you, just try to create something that’s never been done before. A high fantasy book shouldn’t be the Lord of the Rings Part Fourteen. Historical thrillers shouldn’t be reminiscent of The Da Vinci Code, which in and of itself was a just rip-off of Angels and Demons, which in and of itself was just another in that ninety percent, give or take, of terrible books.

The DIY MFA is the perfect opportunity to grow as a writer on your own terms, away from the occasionally cannibalistic world of Creative Writing. Hell, if people despise your writing, that doesn’t even mean it’s bad! Once upon a time, people hated Edgar Allan Poe, Henry David Thoreau, William Faulkner, William S. Burroughs, Stanley Kubrick, Vincent Van Gogh, and so on, and so on, and on, and on. In fact, people hating your writing might actually mean you’re doing something right. Bravo.

Being creative isn’t easy. Truth be told, it’s can be really, really hard at times. But then if it’s so damn difficult for you, why’d you start writing in the first place?

Today’s keynote speaker is the lovely Shannon Whitney Messenger.  I first came across Shannon’s blog over the summer and right away I was hooked by her charming and honest style.  She writes Middle Grade Fantasy and is repped by Laura Rennert with Andrea Brown Literary Agency. And–as if she didn’t have enough on her plate–she’s also one of the founders and organizers of WriteOnCon, a free online writer’s conference for kidlit writers.  I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to see her book on the shelf and read it for myself!  Here are Shannon’s thoughts and advice about DIY MFA.

I’ll admit it–when Gabriela first asked me to write one of her commencement speeches for DIY MFA, my reaction was…uh…why me? I don’t have an MFA. I’m not published yet. I’m not even cool. So what could I possibly say to inspire you guys?

But then I thought about how I got to be where I am right now.

I’d had an idea I’d been researching—but I kept putting off writing it. I’d tell my husband, next week. Next month.
I stalled for almost two years.

Then I went to an author event called Project Book Babe, where I met published writers for the first time. I wanted to be them. It was time to write the darn book.

Two months later I had an eight-figure-book-deal and I’d taken over the literary world.

Um…yeah—I wish!

Here’s what really happened:

I started Draft 1 in April 2009. By July, I was on Draft 7—and realizing that where I’d ended the book should really be the 2/3 point. I needed help. So I started reading author blogs and figured out what I was missing: critique partners.

By August I started my own blog, hoping to connect with other writers and swap pages. By October I’d found one. And I’d begun to learn about publishing. Agents. Queries. I realized if I was going to do this for real, I needed to educate myself—and fast.

So I followed agents’ blogs. Editors’ blogs.  I registered for a writer’s conference. I took a query workshop. I added another awesome critique partner. All the while I was writing, writing, writing.

By November I was on Draft 11, and one of my CPs emailed me. You’re getting better, she said.

By mid January I typed the two words I hadn’t let myself type until that point (at least not together). The End. It was Draft 12.

I brought the first chapter of Draft 12 with me to the writer’s conference a few weeks later. I pitched my book to agents—and they asked for partials. My pages won a Conference Choice Award.

When I came home it took me three weeks of obsessing to send my query. (Okay, fine, maybe some of my CPs had to bully me into it—whatever!)

Two weeks later I had an offer of rep from my dream agent.

It had been just slightly less than eleven months since the day I decided it was time to start writing. And hopefully someday soon—once I finish yet another revision—I’ll sell my book and finally reach my dream of being published.

So why am I telling you this?

Because I’ve learned two things along that journey.

1. You have to educate yourself as much as possible. Read blogs. Get to know other writers. Learn all you can about writing and publishing—and then learn more. There is always more to learn.

2. In order to be a writer, you have to write.

So you’ve made HUGE progress with the first one by following this program. The wealth of information Gabriela has taken the time to provide is invaluable.

Now it’s time to write.

Whether you’re starting your first draft or revising for the thousandth time, the most important thing is to write.

Lose yourself in your story.

Don’t worry about making it perfect—that will come with revision. For now, just write—because each word you type brings you a little bit closer to your dream. So get started!

Happy writing everyone!

There’s a reason I called this week “Commencement Week” and not “Graduation Week.”  The latter implies an ending, a big accomplishment, reaching of a goal.  But that’s not what DIY MFA is all about.  This past month here at iggi U, we’ve been working on the pre-DIY MFA, the preparation of it all.  Now it’s time to implement it.  Commencement is about the start of something new, and that’s exactly what DIY MFA is all about.

Here are some things I’ve learned on my journey and I hope by sharing them with you, it will help you as you embark on yours.

Embrace the open road.  We’ve got an empty road ahead of us, which can be both terrifying and exciting.  Sometimes all those endless possibilities might seem scary, but remember this: they’re just possibilities, not absolutes.  You can always change your mind.

Get good at juggling.  Sometimes it will seem like you’re juggling a lot, between all the reading, writing, critiquing and community.  But each piece of the DIY MFA program is key to developing a well-rounded writing life.  Just remember, it’s not about quantity in any one area, it’s about the overall balance.

Learn to recognize when you’re in the Fun House.  Not everyone will understand DIY MFA.  They might treat you like you’re crazy for following your writing dreams.  “Well, if it’s not real school, can’t you just skip a day?”  Learn to see when people are distorting your vision and stand up for your writing life.

Develop a thick skin.  Writing is tough.  Having people read your writing is even tougher, but you can’t spend your life protecting your work from critics.  After all, what’s the point of writing it if no one will ever read it?  Whenever your work is picked to shreds, remember: “It’s not me, it’s the work.”

Recognize when the work is “excellent enough.”  Just as in golf you cannot get a perfect score because you can always do better, so it is with writing.  I had a teacher once who’s catch phrase was “make it better.”  Whatever we brought in, she’d say “let’s see how we can make it better” and so the critique would begin.  Sure, you could play the “make it better” game forever and never submit any of your work, but sooner or later you have to decide if the work is “excellent enough” and accept it as it is.

As you embark on your DIY MFA, I can promise you two things:

1. It might be a lot of things, but DIY MFA will never be boring.
2. iggi and I will still be here, posting away to help inspire–or at the very least, amuse you–through the days that aren’t so much fun.

Thank you all for making the DIY MFA project so great and I’m looking forward to hearing how your DIY MFAs develop.

Thesis is such an ugly word.  I hear it and right away I start getting the willies.  Something about the idea of a thesis can be intimidating, paralyzing even.  I bet you’re thinking, this is a DIY MFA… which means I can do whatever I want, so why do I have to write a *gag* thesis?

Sure, DIY means Do-It-Yourself, so if all you want is to dabble in writing, you don’t have to write a thesis.  But if we’re really serious about our writing, we have to be in it for the long haul and sooner or later that means writing something “big.”  And by “big” I mean anything: a collection of short stories, a collection of essays, 100 1-page flash fiction pieces, a novel, a memoir, a collection of poems.  I’m not saying that “size matters,” but… well… when it comes to writing, it sort of does.  After all, you can’t just write one story and rest on your laurels for the rest of your life.  Well, theoretically you can but the you’re not really a writer.  You’re just a laurel-sitter.

Chances are if you’re a writer you’ll have to start a big project at some point, and I’m guessing that if you’re reading this you are one of the chosen ones.  And that’s where the THESIS comes in.

In honor of NaNoWriMo I’ll be posting a series every weekend between now and the end of November about getting through a “big project.”  I’m currently working on a schedule of topics and I’ll keep you all posted (ha ha, pun intended!).  Even if you’re not doing NaNoWriMo–I’m not… my deadline is in October–you can still learn tips on getting through a big project.  Just stop by and read up on how to jump through the ultimate MFA hoop.  Thesis…dum dum dummmm.

Remember, the beauty of a DIY MFA thesis is that you come out of it with a full-on book (unlike an MFA Thesis where you might write only half of the book, or do one revision or do one small part of the process).  The DIY MFA thesis is more involved because our goal is to come out of it with a book that’s ready to query.  It might take you months, even a year or two, but when you’re done with it you’ll have your book and you’ll be ready for the next step.

Excited?  I am.  Starting after Commencement Week, I’ll do my first Thesis Project post, so stay tuned.