I’m one of those people who utterly detests Valentine’s day. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a wonderful valentine in my life for going on ten years now, so it’s not out of bitterness that I dislike this holiday so much. Mostly it’s because of logistics; this grotesque little holiday falls two days before my birthday. Every year. I also have serious issues with a holiday that encourages numerous affronts to the English language in the form of cheesy song lyrics, sappy monologues and bad poetry.
Someone needs to do something to improve the overall literary quality of Valentine’s day and I’ve come to the conclusion that the best way to accomplish this is by having a CONTEST!!!
What you need to do: Write a valentine from one literary character to another and post it in the comments. Easy right? Here are a few more details:
- Contest is Open Until: Precisely 11:59pm EST on Feb. 16 at which time I will close comments on this post.
- Finalists: Will be selected by moi, and will be announced on Saturday, Feb 19. Once I announce the finalists, I’ll set up a poll so everyone can vote for the Grand Poobah of Valentine Literary Awesome. I will post to let you know when the poll opens.
- Prize: $15 Amazon.com Gift Card to the Grand Prize Winner!
- Use characters from children’s literature or teen literature.
- Pair two unlikely valentines in such a way that it goes from bizarre to deliciously ridiculous!
- Make me laugh so hard I snort milk out of my nose.
- Make me sob so much I think my heart might break.
- (But really, I like laughing better than sobbing. Just FYI.)
Ready… Set… Write!
Call me Gabi (pronounced gah-BEE). I'm a writer, freelance teacher, and a lover of books and words. I'm also the instigator of DIY MFA. iggi's my sidekick, but he thinks he's the brains behind this operation.
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Comments on this post
Wow, okay, I seriously couldn't resist this. How fun!! Here goes….
From Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde
You left the milk on the table,
I did not put it away.
I was not able.
You tossed the laundry,
Broke the vase.
You even jumped up
On my work-space.
Still, you brought me yet another gift.
Half-beaten man from over the rift.
Now the lab’s all a-twitter,
We, we’re not quitters.
His heart will go; lungs & brain too.
For these gifts, I give to you.
Patti
14. February - 5:31 pmMy head aches, my heart pounds.
I think of you and my stomach turns upside down.
I can feel it moving inside of me,
you must be my Valentine because the doctor hears a heart beat.
If he's born kind of fury its not my fault.
The werewolf kissed me when you ran off.
Jacob the werewolf help me when you were gone,
But Edward, my boo, your the one from whom I want a spawn.
I'm still your Bella and I still want your bite,
14. February - 7:19 pmSo don't worry how furry will be this little tyke.
From Tigger to Kanga:
I don't have a mama, and I'm not Roo.
15. February - 11:26 amBut I sure love bouncing in on you!
You guys are my family. Like it or not.
And you're the best family I ever did got.
I can't write much, and I can't spell more
That doesn't matter, it's you I adore
I want you to know you're special today
Well, you're special all days but this day especially special, okay?
So here's a valentine's ditty
Because you're quite pretty
To Kanga (and Roo the little pest)
(I didn't mean that I just needed it to rhyme.
(Poets say things like that all of the time)
Like I said, Kanga, and Roo the pest.
Poems is what Tiggers do best!
Your berating I shan't forget
Much like that first day we met
The truth is you ARE handsome enough to tempt me
Just why oh why did it take my my head and heart so long to agree?
Your luscious smile, those fine, fine eyes,
My consuming love for you- no longer can I disguise
You shine more brightly than your counterparts
None of them are as versed as you in their arts
I knew you were the one the day you snubbed me,
Sounds weird I know, but it opened my eyes finally
I tried and tried to get you out of my head,
But I kept picturing us in…wed-
lock
Your prejudice and my pride
Kept you from becoming my bride.
I went away from you as far as I could
But fate's fate-turned out you were in my neighbourhood.
Yeah it was awkward but it got better
And now here I am writing you this poem/letter.
Dear Lizzie, my sweetheart, won't you be mine
This valentine?
-Your not-so-secret admirer,
Darcy
hehe that was fun to write!
15. February - 2:15 pmHmmm….. which to choose? They're all really cute!
And now, for a sidebar:
Hey, my surprise is finally here! Any author who wants to can add info to my author showcase!
http://michellesvann.blogspot.com/2011/02/author-showcase-welcome-emhe-viewers.html
16. February - 5:46 amTo Harry Potter
Dobby is extremely fond
Of Harry and his waving wand.
And Dobby always gave support
As Harry fought Lord Voldemort
While at the Malfoy’s alma mater
He was freed by Harry Potter
Luscious Malfoy was in shock
When Dobby got that dirty sock
Although Dobby is a goner
Dobby feels it was an honor
Helping Harry to the end
As a free elf and his friend
Your friend
17. February - 12:17 am– Dobby the Free Elf
From Jessica in EGL 102-AD/CD1:
Dearest husband (maybe more appropriately son),
17. February - 12:42 amWho knew the oracle'd be right and you'd be the one?
My new love to cherish, my dear Valentine.
Offed your pop, and now you're mine.
Not absurd at all, our marriage and kin,
Here to display our ultimate sin.
From Charles in EGL 102-AD/CD1:
You and I were shot by an arrow from Cupid,
We had four children, all of them stupid.
(And a bit of low-brow humor…)
For nine long months, I felt you inside me.
17. February - 12:44 amAfter all these years, nothing has changed.
From April in EGL 102-AD/CD1:
In the morning, I am quite boring.
17. February - 12:45 amThe sun shines bright, with overpowering light.
Your eyes are the same,
As one near your fame.
Is it my hun
or is it my son?
I n'er know what you seen now
Nothing.
No, me.
From Prof. Bragg, EGL 102-AD/CD1:
Love found after love
17. February - 12:46 amGrief and misery remain
Baby Man of mine